Thoughts Bout’ Life
I decided that every so often I will be doing one of these : Thoughts Bout’ Life. I am one of those people that randomly question everything and anything, so I decided to write some of them down for other people to read, think about, and make their own opinions on.
My thoughts : Sometimes I think people go into relationships because their subconscious has the main idea of not wanting to be lonely. They see the relationship as a solution to what they think is a problem. They convince themselves that they fit with a certain person and they love them, just because they don’t want to be in the group of people who don’t have another person with them at the moment. They want to be associated with the group of people who are content with a relationship, but what they don’t realize is that most of the “content” people are faking the relationship for the exact same purpose. They don’t want to be a part of the lonely group. But what if “being lonely” is what you really need or want right now in you life. Why should we let the views of other people in society change what we need or want? We shouldn’t try to swim in an already drowning relationship when we know in the end we will sink. Sure there might be times where you will be happy that instead of sitting on the sand reading a nice book by yourself, you are being convinced by someone who currently cares about you to go and jump in the waves. But that is that one moment of happiness. What if in the long run, we will find more happiness, if instead of trying to stay above the water when you know you will sink to the bottom, you just spend time by yourself safely on the shore. Why go through all of the heartbreak and pain at the end, when you knew in the beginning the relationship wouldn’t be forever? Why put yourself through that? I know we all urge to find “the one”, but while we are waiting for him, why are we waisting our time on people who aren’t, weren’t, and will never be “the one”? I understand if you think these people have a chance, but if you don’t then what is the point? You just don’t want to be lonely? Are you sad because you are alone, or because society says you should be sad when you are alone?
“I know we all urge to find “the one”, but while we are waiting for him, why are we waisting our time on people who aren’t, weren’t, and will never be “the one”? I understand if you think these people have a chance, but if you don’t then what is the point? You just don’t want to be lonely?”
okay I sort of get what you’re saying but I disagree
actually imma elaborate
I think it’s totally okay to hang with people even if they may not be your fairy-tale ending. I think it’s okay and totally fine and maybe even good to have relationships with people whom which your relationship will eventually end and make you sad.
Because even if they aren’t your final destination, they’re important. I may not be best friends with my friends from middle school twenty years from now, but they still matter. They made and make me who I am today. They were part of my life for years and will be part of my memories forever. Just like with people dating– a girl may know for sure in senior year at hs that she and her boyfriend will not end up together, but she will keep dating him for now because he makes her happy, and that matters, even if two months later she will be crying after their break up.
I completely get it if you mean people who date or do things just because it’s a standard in society. “What, you’re a college senior and you still haven’t had your first kiss?” and that sort of thing. That is absolute crap and it’s SO HARD to break away from that.
But outside of that. If I only dated guys I knew I’d never break up with, then I’d only date one guy. Ever. And I might not even date him in fear of he’d be the wrong one.
Most relationships aren’t permanent. And if we shy away from any relationship because it won’t be permanent, then we’ll have no experiences. We won’t be a full person.
Like the girl with the boyfriend she knows she’ll break up with. She knows it’ll be over soon. She knows it’ll cause her pain in the end, but what matters is her happiness NOW.
Again, totally different if it’s an abusive relationship, verbally or physically. A valid and healthy relationship is one you can look back on in 20 years and say huh, that was an experience. It changed me and made me who I am today. I was sad when it ended but am all the better for it.
Okay that’s a long comment. Sorry, Alyssa. I just really needed to get that out. But I get what you’re saying with that first part. sometimes we’d be happier alone and that’s okay, we shouldn’t be looked at as weird for it.
*SLOW CLAPPING OF PURE AGREEMENT*
Deep. I get what you are saying about how people might just be sad when they are lonely because that’s what society tells them. However, I don’t think you should avoid every chance at a relationship just because you think it might not work out in the future, or that that person is not “the one”. I get that when you’re getting older, you might start worrying about that because you’re looking for the “one” or whatever, but you shouldn’t worry about something like that now. And don’t misunderstand, I get what you are saying and I agree that people shouldn’t be going out with someone just because are afraid to be alone, because society tells us we should be. But at this age, Alyssa, I really hope you are not looking for “the one”. Because you might not meet that person until you are 20, 30, or 50. You just don’t know. Also, it’s NOT a waste of time if you’re happy. You can’t always be thinking about the future. It will mess you up, and you will miss so many great things happening in the now. Sorry if I misunderstand in any way, and please correct me if I did. love ya <3